


Darkness - Aliens can break too.

by TheStarOfLeoV



Series: The universe chooses fate [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Dimension Travel, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, F/M, Gen, Hope vs. Despair, Illusions, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mind Games, Multi, Nightmares, Pain, Vulnerability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-06-25 14:42:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15642870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStarOfLeoV/pseuds/TheStarOfLeoV
Summary: Kara and Mon-El are thrown into a mental prison crafted by Pestilence.They are confronted with their biggest fears and painful memories.Aliens can break too.My alternate storyline for the end of 3x16 and 3x17, if Pestilence's powers also would have included creating mind prisons and nightmares.





	1. Nightwalk

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy my first attempt on writing fanfiction and are excited on the next chapters and my upcoming first big story "Galaxies" !

 

Everyone is still effected of what happened in the hospital with Pestilence but no matter what, Kara is keen on showing the the city to the Legion finally. Everybody needs to take a break, it already has been 3 days since the attacks and Winn and Brainy still have no traces on where the current location of the Worldkillers is.

 

Kara joins the others at the command centre, „Hey everybody ! Alex and I decided to take you guys out for a night walk around National City, actually more lika a small tour..“ she rambles to herself „since, you know, you were literally only in the DEO, seriously where do you guys live ?“ she smiles and waits for their reactions. Her cheeks turning to a brighter shade of pink.

„I mean I would really like to see the city to compare it to the future a bit more“ Imra says,

„It can be arranged“ Brainy adds while running the weather conditions inside his head.

„Of course, only if you give them the same tour you gave.“ Mon-El states with the same dopey grin like the first time.

„Yeah, if you all want to.“ Kara smiled and gave Mon-El a quick glance.

 

„And finally, here we are. The harbour.“ Kara says, surprisingly the Legion was still interested while Winn, James and Alex already zoned out.

The group needed to do a stop, twice, so Alex could buy herself some beer to do something productive while Kara showed Imra and Brainy the most boring places on the planet.

While the three humans went inside the market, Mon-El saw an ice cream stand.

He tapped at Kara`s arm to show her the place, that he remembered as the shop both of them went to every weekend. Kara looked up to him and followed his pointing finger, realizing where he pointed at, her face lights up and with excitement she said „We have to get you all ice cream from this shop ! It`s the best !“

With icecream and beer all of them leaned on the railing and just breathed in the fresh salty ocean water.

 

The moment was quite but a loud stud awakes everyone from their trance.

 

„Who do we have here ?“ Pestilence said with green glowing eyes and an evil smirk.

Team Supergirl immediately went into action. Purity joins the fight and sends a soundwave through her right feet which causes the heros to fall down while the ground under them crumbles like a shockwave.

Everyone feels dizzy due to the shockwave and Alex screams „Kara, where are you !“ in fear.

They all are searching for her but she is not near them. After a minute Alex sees her at the other side of the plaza, Reign and Purity holding Kara and Mon-El in a chokehold.

Pestilence hovers over them. „I never showed you what I can fully do. Pestilence will reign over the earth but it will also reign over your minds.“ with that said she scratches both of their foreheads, over to their noses and to their lips.

Alex can only watch the whole scenery with Desperation.

With a gruesome kiss to their lips Pestilence sucks the life out of them.

Kara and Mon-El`s bodies turn grey, Grace breathes out and black smoke fills their vision the smoke becomes a part of their bodies, covering them in it.

 

The worldkillers exit the scene and the heros are left defeated. Only with the sirens of the DEO vehicles Alex lets herself drift into unconciousness...

 


	2. Losing Your Loved Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy the second chapter !

[](http://de.tinypic.com?ref=ojngjr) [](http://de.tinypic.com?ref=1pjv5v) [](http://de.tinypic.com?ref=315xxf7)

 

„No way ! I do not believe you J`onn. You clearly cheated !“ Alex shouts

The martian just shooks his head and Kara and Mon-El laugh at their interaction at playing cards.

The atmosphere is serene and peaceful like nothing bad ever happened to them. Kara just looks at her loved ones and is just happy about the quiet moment she ha swith them because she really needed this after everything that happened with the worldkillers and Mon-El.

Mon-El ?

„Do you want another drink, too, babe ?“ Mon-El asks,

„Uh...?“ Kara responses shocked.

„I asked, if you want anything to drink, babe.“ Mon-El smiles to her.

 

Kara still thinks about everything that happened,

„Babe“ ?

This cannot be real, he is married.

 

Her sight focuses again to her surroundings and now she can clealry see that the edges of the apartment are filled with black smoke.

 

„This is not real ?! Where am I ?!“

and with that said Kara`s vision zooms in and out and she stands in complete darkness, without knowing where she actually is. The feeling of cold smoke weights heavy on her lungs.

„Is anybody here ? Alex ? J`onn ! Mon-El ?!“

Anybody...“ her voice turns lower in desperation with every name she counts.

 

She hears her heavy breathing loud and clear through the smoke filled darkness. Kara senses an earthquakes and falls to her knees, without anything to hold on. Red sunshine rays erupt the space and she recognizes her surroundings. Argo. Argo is exploding again, she has to live through it, again.

She sees the silhouettes of two people from afar.

„Kara save yourself !“, a male voice shouts,

„We love you Kara, you are Rao`s biggest gift to us, we are so proud of you.“ a familiar female voice echoes throught the dark space.

Mother.

Her parents are the silhouettes, she tries to run to them „Mom, Dad, wait, I am coming for you !“ but right in that moment a gigantic firetower erupts from the ground burning her parents infront of her eyes.

The screams choir through Kara´s ears, desperate and gruesome cries fill the space.

„NO !“ Kara screams out,

the darkness fills her vision and she is left alone, again, in silent sobs.

She just kneels on the ground without knowing what to do just like when she left her home planet.

 

She feels warm arms embracing her in a tight hug, she looks up to see Alex reaching out her hand to hold onto.

„Alex, you found me ! Where are we ?“,

but nothing comes out of Alex`s mouth,

„Alex ?, Please, say something, I need you...“ but Alex just keeps looking at ther with a sad smile, she takes Kara´s hand into her own hand and guides it to her heart.

Its does not feel right for Kara, she backs off to see blood covering her hand.

Everything happens too quick, Kara is taken back to her unreal reality with Alex falling to the ground, right infront of her.

„Alex, no ! You cannot leave me. Come on just wake up, it is not that bad.“ Kara tries to tell herself.

In that moment Alex evaporates into dust and Kara is left all alone again.

 

„Kara !“,

a familiar male voice echoes through the space.

Mon-El, it is him.

Kara hugs him and holds him thight, not letting him go, again.

For a short moment she feels calm but then a great force pulls the two away from each other. Both of them are thrown to different edges of the dark room.

The mental torture has taken its toll on Kara, she has difficulties on breathing properly and it takes her great will power to stand up.

While she steadily stands again she realizes that Pestilence and Purity are holding Mon-El`s arms, his body bend, knees on the ground, his face demolished with bruises and blooded cuts. „Mon-El !“

Kara screams out, with that Reign appears out of the dark pulling a smoke trail with her. Reign grabs Kara`s face and looks her right in the eyes. A dark red glow stares deep into her soul, where her vulnerability lays.

„Even aliens, like you, can break so easily, Supergirl.“ Reign says,

Kara crumbles to the ground and looks over to Mon-El, he looks broken and a part of Kara breaks too.

She is in pain and fear, fear she never endured in her lifetime.

The space gets smaller and smaller until she feels her claustrophoby coming back again. She breathes in and out.

In and out.

Looking over to Mon-El „It is okay.“ he ensures her.

He keeps her calm...

Gunshot.

He falls onto his side on the ground, bleeding out, eyes like glass and without any trace of life in them.

Reign puts the bullet right through the side of his head.

„No !!“ Kara cries out,

„No !!“ she keeps screaming, uncontrollable sobs and tears are leaving her body, she cannot control herself anymore, Reign pushed her to her breaking point.

Ecstacy of desperate cries fill the dark space.

An empty void.

With her last strength she crawls over to him, holding him in her arms.

„Mon-El, please, wake up ! It cannot be, not you, too ?! Everything is fine. You are fine. You can wake up now, Mon..“ she tries to tell herself, but ther is no denying that he is gone now, for real this time.

And she cannot bring him back to life.

He is dead.

She tries to clean his face, which is covered in blood. To soothe his face and care for him.

But the stains are too strong, she puts her forehead on his chest to cry and grieve.

 

She looks up to oversee the space, the same darkness, the same smoke, still fills the room.

Her vision is empty, she stares into nothingness while rocking herself with him in her arms, humming a lullaby, completely numb...completely...broken...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the second chapter and are excited for the next ones.  
> Don`t be confused, I decided to expand the story from three to five chapters.  
> Comments, advice and kudos are much appreciated.


	3. A mind prison of painful memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mon-El and Kara are inside a mind prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy the chapter !

[](http://de.tinypic.com?ref=2ugnlar) [](http://de.tinypic.com?ref=bfj192)

 

Mon-El sees Kara on the other side of the room, finally, he found her.  
The air is heavy and filled with smoke, invading his lungs, poisoning his mind with every inhale.  
Her runs to her but she does not reply.  
„Kara, it is me. Mon-El. We have to find a way out of here !“.  
She still does not reply, so he intends to carry her but he is stopped by small quiet and breathy whimpers.  
„Kara stay her I will be back, other people need our help.“.

The silhouettes disappear and he is left alone, he just blinks one time and realizes that he is sinking into the ground, an ocean filled with ruby-red blood clouds his vision.  
It is the only thing he can see.  
But there is more, little flesh corpses are coming up to the surface. The quite breathy whimpers turn into sobs, the sobs turn to a full choir of desperate cries.  
Cries of children.  
The image looks familiar, he is on Rimbor again. So much blood and he cannot do anything against it.  
His breathes speeds up, all the feels of being helpless, vulnerable and destroyed catch up to him.  
„ I could have saved them ?! Why can I not move ?! Ah !!“, his screams of full fear echoe through the dark space but no one hears him.  
The space erupts and rumbles, the water begins to live and moves to grab his arms. He is desperate to escape this mental torture but he is held back by a great force.  
„Let me go, just let me go. I cannot save them, please it hurts too much !“ Mon-El`s own cries drive him insane.  
„It is your fault.“ a whisper coats his vision.  
„No !“ there is no denying that one of his darkest days came back to haunt him.  
He closes his eyes to shut down the cries of a sea of thousand children crying in fear and pain. It pains him.

He opens his eyes and the place is calm.

A dimp light at the end of the dark room lightens up a path. He steps through the path and a familiar surrounding clouds his vision.  
The royale chambers.  
It is his old bedroom, everything is still the same. But the moment is interruppted by a voice screaming „Mother !“.  
„Mother please, I am so sorry. I will not give the servants a second meal ever again. But please not again !“,  
his mother Rhea drags a fourteen year old child with her.  
Him.  
„Mon-El your a disgrace to this family ! Treating servants like this is unacceptable ! I am deeply disappointed in you Mon-El.“ Rhea says.  
She moves up her cape and takes out a whip, that is attached to her back armor.  
Non-challantely she says „Strip down.“, he obeys and does as she says.  
Mon-El wants to scream towards the whole image, that is played infront of him but he cannot. The pain of this perverse memory, he tried to forget, hide it in the deepest parts of his mind, where it can never surface reality again, just came back.  
Little Mon-El awaits his too familiar punishment, he closes his eyes, tries to get ready.  
Both Mon-El`s are now align with the same heavy breathing. Rhea postions herself and with a strong hand movement the whip strikes his back. The sound of bare flesh being striked by leather echoes through the whole palace.  
Little Mon-El cries out in pain !  
„Ah!“ another whip,  
„Ah!“ another one and another one, till the string is coated with blood.  
The smell of iron fills the air.  
Rhea repeats the same procedure again and again.  
„Please Mother, please stop I ca- Ah!, plea- Ah!, please stop ! It hurts !“ he cries out, crumbling to the ground, defenceless.  
„ I promise I will not do it again.“.  
This moment changed Mon-El forever, the Prince of Daxam, the worst of the worst was born after this day. Years and years of conditioning and abuse took its toll on him. This concept of vulnerability and pain turns out to be even more perverse with the influence of a yellow sun. Physical wounds are gone but no time and no sun in the entire universe can heal mental wounds.  
Mon-El falls to the ground, screaming in agony, questioning himself on why he never intervened or just escpaed this life. The tears clouding his visions.  
„Everything is fine Mon-El. Punishment is needed to form an honorable king.“, he can only watch in disbelieve on what is to come next out of Rhea`s mouth.  
„I love you my son. I love you Mon-El“ he feels sick, the words full of lies disgusting him.  
He can only watch how the servants clean off the ground, erasing every part of what has happened. But not even the medical treatements, to heal is scared back, erasing the marks, has never healed the mental scars.

„Mon-El !“ he hears a female voice shout.  
Kara. It is her.  
„Kara.“ his emotions overwhelming him, he wants to hug her, keep her close.  
„Mon-El we need to get out of here !“ she shouts while runnung towards him.  
Their embrace is so close.  
Gunshot.  
She falls into his arms.  
Mon-El still cannot realize what just happened till he feels blood pouring on his hands.  
„No, no, no..“ he stutters, „it cannot be ?!“.  
„Kara ?, Kara!“.  
„Please wake up, it is okay, it is fine, you are safe now.“ he whispers in desperation.  
But she is not waking up, he cannot accept it.  
„Kara !“ he screams in pain, „Kara!“, shaking the lifeless body.  
Uncontrollable sobs escape his lungs. The room is filled with his echoing screams.

The dark space gets clouded with balck smoke again.  
But even in the complete darkness the voice of an evil laugh can be heard.  
It is her. Blight.  
Mon-El realizes everything.  
Enlightend he says, „It is you Blight. Your sick tricks will not take the overhand over me, again. Not this time“.

Kara is still rocking herself on her knees,  
„Kara wake up ! It is not real ! Do not let yourself be taken by an illusion !“ Mon-El shouts, her eyes open up and she looks over to him.

Bright lights erupt everywhere... Mon-El wakes up, realizing he is in the medbay.  
Kara. Where is she ?  
He frantically looks to his side and sees her. He lets out a breath of relief, only to remember what is next to come...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and are excited on what happens next since our heroes escaped Pestilence`s mind prison !  
> As always, comments, advice and kudos are much appreciated.
> 
> As you might realized I uploaded one chapter each day. Chapter 3 is a birthday gift for today because I wasn't planning on publishing on Sunday therefore I won't do an update on Monday. But on Tuesday the penultimate chapter will be released.


	4. The aftermath is always the most painful part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara wakes up from the mind prison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, that I didn`t upload as I promised to do last Tuesday, I really wanted to contribute to the Karamel fandom because, to be honest, there is kind of a drought on those stories and I feel bad about it.  
> But writers block is a b****.  
> Whatever.  
> I hope you all enjoy the pen-ultimatum chapter of my first story !

[ ](http://de.tinypic.com?ref=2ilh1ys)

[ ](http://de.tinypic.com?ref=fm27f6)

 

 

_Bright lights erupt everywhere... Mon-El wakes up, realizing he is in the medbay._

_Kara. Where is she ?_

_He frantically looks to his side and sees her. He lets out a breath of relief, only to remember what is next to come..._

 

„Ah!“ Kara screams as, if she woke up from a horrible nightmare. She frantically looks through the room. Eyes blood-shot and wide open. Heavy fast breathing.

Mon-El runs to her bedside.

„Hey, hey, it is okay.“ he assures her ,while hugging her tightly, keeping her sane.

She grabs tightly onto his back, never letting go, again. All the fear and pain wash over her and Kara begins to cry, cries of desperation, fear and hopelessness. She buries her head into his chest. No one ever saw the Girl of Steel like that.

Broken.

„Everything is fine, it was not real, your pain will go away. I promise.“ Mon-El says stroking her hair.

After minutes of crying, she finally begins to calm down, Mon-El still holding her, her head buried in his warm embrace.

„I was so scared, I- I thou- thought I lost you and everyone. My darkest nightmares and fears just overcame me, I could not do anything against it.“ she says, „I was so helpless but I cannot be that way...“ she keeps telling herself in denial.

„It is okay, aliens can break too...“ Mon-El concluded „and there is nothing wrong with it.“, she cannot hold it together anymore and another breakdown happens.

 

Alex could only watch how broken her little sister is, it even seems to be worse than the time she was under the influence of the black mercy parasite. Everyone felt helpless, because no one knew how to calm her down, Winn was still scanning and analysing their brain activities to see what happened inside of their minds, to find a way to ease her pain. James and Brainy were in the other medbay room sleeping off their injuries from the attack at the harbour. Only Alex, J`onn and Imra were watching over Kara and Mon-El in their medbay room, waiting that both of them wake up. Everybody was taken by surprise as Mon-El`s heart rate began to increase and speed up. In the next moment he was already leaping out of his bed, untucking himself from all the wires and running to Kara`s bedside were she began to scream, out of nowhere and those screams transformed into outcries of fear and pain.

 

„Kara what happened ?!“ a shocked Alex asked her but she got no response as if she wasn`t even in the room.

Mon-El embraced her in a tight hug, Alex is surprised of their interactions. She begins to intervene, she wants to be there for her little sister. She tries to move to her bedside only to be stoppped by Imra.

„Stop, Alex, he knows what to do.“ Imra says with a confirming look in her eyes, a look that gives Alex the impression to trust her.

Imra has her theories on what might have happened with Kara because the whole scenario brings back memories to one of her first missions as a Leginnaire. Mon-El woke up with the same look of fear, when he was attacked by the Blight for the first time.

„We should let them be alone for a while“, Alex gives J`onn a firm look and with that the three of them left their room and moved to the control panel.

Imra tells them the story of Mon-El`s first encounter with the Blight.

„He can give her the best support after what happened inside her mind, he already went through the procedure,. I guess that is why he woke up before her and quickly moved to her bedside. When he woke up the first time he screamed too, we theorised, that the outbreak happens when the victim is not able free itself. Now we can only wait and watch how long it will take her to calm down and prepare her healing process. The things she might have seen inside this illusion could be horrible and haunting tragedies. It took Mon-El over a month to heal from his mental injuries but the scars never faded away, the question is how strong Kara was inside there to predict her healing process ?“ she said with a troubling look.

 

Even after an hour Kara is barely calming down, atleast she is not uncontrollably crying anymore and is free of all the wires. After a while she lets loose of Mon-El`s hug and lays back again, turns to her side and remembers everything, that happened wherever she was. Mon-El pulled up a chair to her bedside and is just there for her.

She looks at Mon-El remembering his face again, to see if his grey eyes, the scar over his eye, the tip of his nose, the dimples and is pink lips are still the same, that she did not lose him inside the dark space.

 

„How do you feel rigth now ?“ Mon-El asks her, she only responses witha quiet „I don`t know.“.

„We were inside a mind prison, you should know, that everything that you saw happen was not real, but to cope with the fear and pain I need to know what kind of things you saw.“ he begins, „I do not know if it will help you but this was not the first time that something like this happened to me. At my first encounters with the Blight, I was inside a mind prison, it was horrible and I saw my worst fears and memories. When I woke up I felt broken and did not know what I should do with myself. That day changed my life and how I behave around others,“ he lets out a sad chuckle to brighten up the mood, Kara just silently listens to him,s till laying on her side, „maybe it even explains why I became so quiet around other people. I already was not in good shape when I arrived in the future but that day just gave me the rest. The healing process is long and and the scars will never fully fade away, but I promise you I will be here for you, whenever you are ready to talk.“.

 

„Thank you Mon-El, for being here.“ Kara says after a moment of silnece and she gives him a small smile, still keeping her voice as silent as possible.

„It is okay, I will always support you and be here for you.“ he says with the biggest admiration for the woman infront of him.

 _It`s ok_.

Kara`s facial expressions change in a second, all the memories, of him telling her it is okay, come back., how scared and helpless she was in that specific moment.

_Gunshot._

Seeing how Reign puts the bullet inside his head and his limp body crumbles to the ground. Her eyes begin to tear up. Mon-El realizes the change in Kara`s face and sees how tears begin to form around the corners of her eyes.

„Hey, hey it is okay, it was not real. You do not have to fear the memories, it was not real.“ he reassures her while moving up to her, holding her hand and caressing her face in that moment.

„But why does it feel so real, I can remember it like it really happened ?!“ Kara says.

„It was not real, I can assure you that. You need to sleep, everything is still so fresh. Can you do that for me, please ?“ Mon-El whispers to Kara.

„Okay.“ Kara says, Mon-El stands up to go, Kara holds on to his hand, „Please stay here.“ she pleads, „Atleast until I fall asleep.“.

Mon-El struggles with what to do, is it really okay for him to stay under these circumstances ? He looks behind him and in the corner of his eye he sees Imra, who helps Brainy with his crutches, she sees him and nods towards him already knowing what he means. Afterall the scenario was known to her. He turns back to Kara.

„Of course, I`ll stay.“, he pulls up his chairs right infront of Kara`s bed and caresses her hand, while she dozes of into a hopefully peaceful sleep.

„Thank you, Mon-El“ Kara says quietly.

 

Only tomorrow will show how both of them will cope with the events, that happened inside the mind prison...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the fourth chapter and are excited for the last one !  
> As always, comments, advice and kudos are appreciated.


	5. Starting over to begin healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> „And you are right Kara, we have feelings too, we might be aliens on this planet, we might never feel at home on Earth, ever, but that does not mean that we do not share the same emotions with the humans. 
> 
> Aliens can break too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of my first story, I hope you enjoy it and catch the references and parallels I included and my critic and take on 3x15.
> 
> After this story I will begin to continue a collab draft and work on my first big story "Galaxies", a continuation of my ideal season 4 with new comic book and boundry breaking characters.
> 
> But till then, enjoy !

„ _Of course, I`ll stay.“, he pulls up his chairs right infront of Kara`s bed and caresses her hand, while she dozes of into a hopefully peaceful sleep._

„ _Thank you, Mon-El“ Kara says quietly._

 

_Only tomorrow will show how both of them will cope with the events, that happened inside the mind prison..._

 

The day goes on as always, as nothing ever happened for the majority of people even when the strongest heroes on Earth are scared and broken right now, but who cares...Everything is taken for granted...

 

Kara slowly wakes up, she takes in her surroundings, from afar she can see the rising sun or is it a dawning sunset ? She looks over to the clock at the wall, 7.36 pm. Kara realizes, that she slept through the whole day since the accident happened in the late hours of the day before. She looks over to her side, her vision seems to act blurry over objects in near side. It is him, Mon-El, with a scrunched, worried expression daunting his face while he is asleep. Observing his face once again, Kara can say in relief that everything looks like before, he is not dead, he is alive, she did not cause his death, it was an illusion, a sick mind game. A mantra to ease her worries. Only in this moment the tables have turned and Kara finally realizes what Mon-El meant all those months, correction years ago, just like him, she wants to burden herself with the weigth of all those worlds on her own shoulders, so he can be a bit more free and at peace, that is what you do for someone who you love.

Kara sighs, turns on her side facing Mon-El, just taking in his presence and watching how he breathes, while sleeping in an uncomfortable position on the chair. Time flies by and Kara sees, that he begins to move, his eyes rapidly moving under his eye lids, breathing intensifies and he shoots up out if his sleeping position, looking really worried and scared. When he realizes, that Kara is still on her medbay bed and not abducted, like in his nightmare mere seconds ago, he sees that she is already awake, looking at him. A small, sad smile painting her face.

 

„Nightmare ?“ she asks, Mon-El just nods and sinks in his chair, stretching a bit in his new upright posititon.

„Nothing to be worried about.“ he assures her, but Kara does not seem to buy his act, afterall, it seems to be too familiar to her.

„No, please tell me what you saw or what happened ? What is on your mind ?“ she asks.

„Kara, really, it was not that bad, nothing I did not live through already“ Mon-El says but Kara cuts him off quickly,

„You had a lot of nightmares back then, sometimes you even screamed when you woke up. In the first weeks when we were together it happened quite often, mostly when something happened that was related to your parents. At first I did not know what to do, I was scared. Being in love for the first and not knowing how to emotionally support your partner was terrifying for me, so I just pretended to sleep while you shifted on your side, you cried, you tried not to be too loud but I heard everything. And at some point I could not bear it anymore, I took the courage to face you while you had a terrible nightmare five days after the Music Meister incident. And we talked about it, we opened up to each other and our relationship began for the first time, without lies, disrespect and superiority.“ Kara continued while Mon-El was star-struck over what he just witnessed.

„So I ask you once again, what happened or what did you see ? Because I want to help, be there for you through it all, I could not bear it again to let you alone with your feelings and yourself like 10 months ago.“ she finished with tears shining in her eyes.

 

Mon-El finally let his steady and cold guard down, tears begin to develope. „I lost you, again.“ his voice cracks in pain, „Reign came back to end you once and for all, wrecked havoc in the DEO and got you in the medbay. I was unable to move, I had no voice and an unresponsive body, it was like just my eyes were in the room. Then she snapped your neck. You looked at me and looked like you were hurt and disappointed in me and that look just stayed when you were dead. You kept looking at me but there was no light, no hope, in your eyes.“ he finishes his description.

 

„Mon-El, I am not disappointed in you nor do I hate you or am hurt by you. Believe me.“ she assures him but he just shakes his head.

„No you are, you cannot say that you felt those exact same things when I came back to this time. I am sorry that I did that you, i did not grasp your perspective back then, I am so sorry that you now think that I am all of those bad things to you that you said to me when My`rnn had is psychic episode, it hurts me that i was not good to you. That I could not save you in the mind prison when it was not even my first time enduring something like this - That I- I-“ he begins to ramble, tears clearly clouding his vision.

„Hey, hey“ Kara begins, „First of all, don`t apologize, I thought we agreed to that, remember ?“ Kara questions him, Mon-El only response with a quite „Sorry.“.

„Those things I have said were true, I have to be honest about that, it helped me to see that our relationship was not perfect or how I remembered it at all. But guess what Mon-El ? Whose relationship is perfect ?! No ones. I was not unhappy and you are clearly not all those bad things to me. We were happy and in love ! I am just sorry for saying those things as if they were related to us when we were in a relationship. It was not fair of me to use those things against you, when you clearly were less than a month on Earth and those things happened way before our relationship, otherwise I cannot explain myself, why I was so hurt about it and hurt by you, maybe I already had stronger feelings towards you that early on. But I was clearly hurt about you not respecting my privacy at first and lying to me but I also learned through that psychic epsiode what I did. How I held you at armslength, acting superior towards you and that you always had to do what I say.“.

„I really do appreciate you saying that; Kara“ Mon-El interrupts with a small smile that is immediately overshadowed of his sadness.

Kara continues, „We both never were in a serious relationship before, we did not know how to handle things and act in certain ways towards and with each other, but with time and some Earth Prime drama we grew closer and started to communicate better. It was like we started our relationship in that moment. A serious and committed relationship.“

„Honestly, it felt like that for me too, Kara, I am glad to know now how you really feel, how we feel.“, Kara gives him a geniune smile.

Both are reliefed that everything was layed on the table besides their continued strong feelings for each other because there was still tension after they promised each other to make a new clean slate. But both of them kind of know how the other one feels, that their feelings are stronger than they should be for each other.

 

„So..“ Mon-El continues, „I told you what I saw, do you want to tell me about what happened with you in that dark space ?“ he asked and Kara struggled with her decision but she in the end she opened up.

„I saw my parents, I was thirteen again and saw the destruction of Krypton, but this time I literally saw how they burned alive and I can still hear their screams of fear and pain.“ as she continues Kara coudl not hold it anymore, she begins to cry but chooses to keep going. She need to be strong, she is not a human, never will be.

„Then I was alone again, I cried and out of nowhere Alex came by but she did not talk, she was already wounded and died right infront of me. Everything went so fast. Then you were there but then Reign attacked and she shot you down. I was too weak to help, I only could hold your lifeless body in my arms. The whole floor was covered in so much blood. You said it was okay to let you die, I could not do anything and then it just happened.“ she ends her story.

„Kara, I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this.“.

 

After a quite minute of silenece to let everything sink in Kara asks him.

 

„Mon-El, what did you see ?“ she curiously asked.

„I was on Rimbor, you know the place where my Valor suit was destroyed ?“ she nods while listening, „I relived the same moment of the attack again, after the big fight I was unconcius for a while, my ring revived me and I realized that I was in a pool of blood, corpses were floating around, mostly the ones of children, I could not help them. That memory still pains me. Then I saw my mother she whipped my fourteen year old self. After that day I began to be the prince everyone rumored me to be, I simply did not rebel, I just obeyed, followed the sick, tyrannic rule of my mother and father. At last I saw you, we both were so reliefed when we found each other in that mind prison, we went in for a hug but then you were shot and your limp body fell into my arms. It was so horrible, the thought of you dying was used against me many times but I never got over it, it always gets me.“ he ends.

„Mon-El, I remember your experiences inside the mind prison, I saw them while I slept.“ she says, „Did you saw mine too ?“ she asks.

„Yes, I did, I wanted to approach you slowly since everything is so fresh. My first experiences with the Blight were never shared, maybe due to the fact that it only happened to me, but maybe Pestilence tried to break us further by connecting our experiences inside the mind prison ? That is why it is so important for us to deal with our experiences and make the best out of them.“.

 

Kara worriedly expresses, „Mon-El, I do not want to break, I am Supergirl, I help people in need, I cannot be like this ?“.

„Like what ?“ Mon-El counters.

„Alone, weak, human...just so human. What does it mean to be human ? Showing weakness ? Having emotions clouding your judgement ? Having loved ones ? I was so weak when you were gone, I just concentrated on being Supergirl over everything else, I do not want this to hapoen again. What does it mean, what am I ?!“ she asks.

„Kara you are not a human, you are a Kryptonian but that does not mean you need to be emotioneless just because humans act like that ? I am a Daxamite but I still have feelings, being a hero does not mean for me to be always perfect, I try to be but obviuosly I`m not.“ he says and continues with a question, „Were you ever sad or happy on Krypton ?“ he asks and waits for a serious answer.

„Yes.“ she responses.

„And you are right Kara, we have feelings too, we might be aliens on this planet, we might never feel at home on Earth, ever, but that does not mean that we do not share the same emotions with the humans. Aliens can break too. You cannot let your Supergirl persona decide on how you act and live your life as Kara Zor-El, and not even Kara Danvers because with her you will always pretend to be someone else and will never be able to fully embrace every part of your being. It begins with you. Kara Zor-El. You cannot let Supergirl overshadow you, just because you have powers it does not mean you have to be perfect and rational ! No one will ever reach perfectionism ! When you are not healthy then you will never be at full strength to protect the people you truly love and care about. If your mind is not in shape then the rest of your body will follow. Going to therapy should be as normal as heading to the gym.“ Mon-El says to her.

Kara looks concerned, „ I don`t know, if I can pull through it and be the same afterwards ?“.

„Your healing process will be long and hard, sometimes you might be exhausted, I can assure you that, it was hard for me too. We will never be the same person as before, but you have the power to decide on how you want to change your life because everyone constantly changes ! We will begin with therapy, that is always a good basis on moving further to cope with ourself.“ he tells Kara, waiting for a response.

Kara pushes herself up and sits on the bed, she looks at Mon-EL, who waits for an answer, She realizes that she has to move forward and deal with the harbour accident, that left her broken, in a way that she can learn something and benefit from it for every aspect of her life.

With great courage she responses, „When do we start ?“...

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter of my story, it was a long way to come to an end. I hope you all will recognize the references and parallels I did. I tried to include topics of ethical and philosophical questions because it was important to me to mention them since the last chapter is heavily focused on content and emotions rather than action. 
> 
> As always, comments advice and kudos are very appreciated !
> 
> See you soon on my rewrite of a draft of 3x22/23 that @evetessmacher on Twitter provided to me.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the first part of my story.  
> Comments and advice for writing are appreciated since you should have realized, that english is not my native language.


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